As you all know Mother's Day is tomorrow and I'm dreading it. With all 4 of my children in heaven, I just know the only ones who will wish me Happy Mother's Day is my sister and my Mom (only AFTER I wish her Happy Mother's Day first). My husband doesn't seem to have any special plans (but he does like to surprise me so maybe he has something planned). We usually go out of town for Mother's Day since my first loss 3 years ago (under the urging of his mother who has had over 19 losses) but he is on-call for work and can't leave town. There is no one to get me a card (I wish they had cards for our situation), a gift or tell me Happy Mother's Day.
The following Sunday (so May 21st) is the 3rd Anniversary of my 2nd loss, Rain. I found out I was pregnant with her on Mother's Day 2014 and had happiness for 10 short days before I lost her at 6weeks. I had our stillborn son, Little Man just 3 months before so losing 2 children in exactly 3&1/2 months was devastating.
May 29th marks the 3rd Anniversary of Little Mans due date. Little Man was bornstill at 24weeks, 2 days before my 34th birthday. I had waited for SOOO LONG to be a mother and it all came to an end.
These days coming up just keep reminding me of all that I have lost and they will go completely unnoticed by everyone but me.
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