Monday, February 6, 2017

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE MAN!!!

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY LITTLE MAN!!! Three years ago today, you arrived in our arms sleeping. Your heart stopped beating a week before due to not enough blood getting to your growing body. Words can not describe how much we love and miss you. Daddy and I both had been wanting, longing, yearning, praying and aching for you for so long. That day was such a bittersweet experience and birthday present (Daddy's birthday was 7 days before and mine was 2 days later). You were finally in our arms and we were parents. Of course it was the worst day of our lives because you were gone and nothing anyone could do would bring you back.
We all got to hold you, dress you and take pictures of you for 5 hours before we had to say our finally goodbyes. Leaving the hospital with empty arms was the HARDEST MOMENT of my life!!!! When the nurse pushed you into the broom closet and locked the door, it took every fiber within me not to break down that door, grab you and run and keep running until you came back.
Life has been hard without you and your 3 siblings (whom I also lost in early miscarriage), but it is better. I have a lot more good days than bad. It doesn't hurt to smile or laugh of think about you 4 anymore. I am fine around babies and pregnancies. There are some moments it may be hard, but I get through them quickly. Just know that you and your brother and sisters are loved and missed beyond words. You will never be forgotten and Daddy and I long for the moment when we can hold you again.
I'm sending you all my thoughts, love and hugs to you LITTLE MAN!!!

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