This country has an extreme shortage of foster homes that are needed. There are over 400,000 children that are in foster care every year. Most children spend 2 years in foster care. There are not enough homes for these children to go to and those that are fostering, are filled to capacity and are still being called to take more children in. I have friends that are foster parents. They currently have an 8 year old adopted son and are the foster parents of a sibling group of 5 (ages 14-14months) for the past 10 months. In the past, they had up to 9 foster children in their home (even though the limit is 6 children total) because no other foster home in area had room. I think there is such a shortage of foster homes in this country because society has quite a few fears regarding foster children and fostering in general. I hope this little post will help overcome some of these fears and will encourage other families to foster.
Since I, myself, am brand new on the fostering journey, I know very little so far and have had no personal experience. I will make more of these posts every couple of months (and maybe even expand on the fears from this post).
Fear #1 IT WILL BE TOO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE CHILD
I (and especially my husband) am afraid of this fear too!!!! In fact, according to my husband, this is what made him stop the fostering process in the summer of 2016. At the time, he couldn't think he could fall in love with a child and then have to let go of that child, especially if the child was going back into the environment they had been abused in. We have already said goodbye to our 4 children, how could we deliberately get into a situation where we would knowingly be saying goodbye to more children that we love????
The best solution to this problem is to STILL LOVE THESE CHILDREN FOR AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THEM FOR!!!!! These children still NEED to be loved!!!! Most of them need more love than children in a happy homes. These children come from extreme abuse and neglect. They NEED to be in homes that are not only safe, but one where they are surrounded in love. Treat and love these children as your own. DO NOT be emotionally distant with these children because you are afraid of the pain when they go. YES IT WILL HURT!!!! That pain just means that you loved them and that you were a great parent.
Fear #2 THESE KIDS WILL HAVE MAJOR BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS
NOT TRUE!!!! Many children who come into care, are children with normal childhood behaviors. They will act like any child raised in a happy home. They may have delays in physical and cognitive areas, but with time and therapy, they have every opportunity to catch up to their peers.
For children who have gone trough extreme trauma, abuse and neglect, yes there will be behavior issues (who wouldn't have behavior issues if you were for punishment put under scalding water and then have IcyHot put on the burns). There is special training and much help for these children and the foster homes who are open to having them. These children need more safety, love and consistency than other children. DO NOT LET THE FEAR OF WHAT COULD GO WRONG STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT IS RIGHT!!!!
Fear #3 I'M NOT QUALIFIED
FALSE!!!!! ALMOST ANYONE IN MOST SITUATIONS CAN BECOME A FOSTER PARENT!!! Single people can be foster parents. Full time students can be foster parents. People with full time jobs can be foster parents. Couples with children can be foster parents. Couples with no children can be foster parents. Age is NOT deciding factor. Most living spaces are acceptable to foster in. The list goes on and on about who CAN foster.
Basically if you can financially support a child, have a spare bedroom AND can love a child, YOU CAN FOSTER!!!!!
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